Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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