Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Can I color on your dick again?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
