Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize