Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
