we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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