what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
