Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.

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(289): View more from Ontario

Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.

Fav 64 9059 1270
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.

Fav 14 6454 1369
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(216): View more from Ohio

I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair

Fav 6 969 1784
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(303): View more from Colorado

Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.

Fav 7 1790 1179
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(914): View more from New York

He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.

Fav 11 2299 827
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(517): View more from Michigan

No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf

(615): View more from Tennessee

Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!

Fav 10 1011 2210
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(303): View more from Colorado

Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.

Fav 0 652 505
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Thank you for always being there for me.

(828): View more from North Carolina

Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?

Fav 0 34 8
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