I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Sorry my hands just texted you
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
