put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
