Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ugly people sure do ruin things
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
