Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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