He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
