Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
