just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
