A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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