Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
