I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
