what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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