So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Let's get the cat blown out
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
