it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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