That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
