You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
