I'm so fucking centered right now
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
