Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize