I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
this just has baby written all over it
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
