Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
