So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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