I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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