I wanna bring you to show and tell
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
