oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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