I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
