and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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