I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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