mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We have so much sex to catch up on
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
