I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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