Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize