Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
