he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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