And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
