I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
