I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
