I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize