That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
