she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
