I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
