dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
