my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
