she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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