I must be too annoying 4 u.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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