I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
