No awkward lesbian experiences without me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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