Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
