Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
