If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
