looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
