It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
